clueless-fat-girl-loses-weight:
My favorite thing is when clients fill out paperwork for the emergency clinic and include both an animal’s real name and then, in parenthesis, what they are absolutely called 100% of the time:
- Aristotle (Bobo)
- Cleo (Miss Muffins)
- Jaeger (Fancy Feet)
etc.
Like, if I were to do that, my animals would be Nigel (Kissypants), Blackjack (Beej), Freddie Mercury (Fritter), and Le Chiffre (Sheefies).
Mine:
Elesh Norn (Ellie Bean)
Teysa (Tey Tey)
Luma (Luma)Freya (Tinycat)
Merlin (Twinkletoes)
Rocket (Rockito)
Castiel (Cas, Casserole, Cashole)
Arry (Fluffbutt, King Asshole)
Atlas (Squeaks, Little Shitten)
Maggie Mae (Maggers or Stinky)
Rosie (Little Bear or Fuzz Butt)Clod (my perfect little grey boy with a beautiful pointy head and a little grey bottom and his paws so grey and little)
Puck (Puck Puck)
Tesseract Godzilla the Terrible (Dammit TESSA)
MacKenzie (Kenzie-kins)
Brave Sir Robin (Robin, Tiny Terrorist)Bowie (Puppy Dog McGee)
Rosie (Rosie Posie)
Belle (Bellaboo, Goddamn It Cat)
Rumpus (Grumpus)
Neville (Nev, Handsome Kitty Boy)Vinnie (Jerkbutt, Bubba, Vincenzo, Beeker, Fluffpants)
Tribble (Captain Tinycat, Grumples)
Catou (Fatou, Fatty Princess, Meep, Meatball, Meatloaf, DIANE STOP FAT-SHAMING THE CAT)Lucky (Luckluck, Luckini Zucchini, Schnucke, Schnuckini, Pupsemaus)
Kiss (Kissy-bär, Bisoubär, Bussibär, Schnuffebär)Cassiopea (Cassie, Cass, dumb-dog)
Quinn (Q, GET OFF MY HEADOARD Q, Babycat, Momo)
Zipper (zip the wonder dog)
Socks (chowder head)Casey (Fluffy Butt)
My dog (RIP) Poppy (Popaloo, Party Popper, springs-for-paws, Popasita, Poppas, Queen Bitch) Diablo (Boo-boo, demon kitty, Mr. Man, Fat Ass)
Lola (Lola Belle or Big Girl )
Patti (Patricia or Little Girl)Marge (margarita, bean paws, wiggle wiggle, babycat, will you stop that, kitten, mojo, mojolina, she has a big butt we can not lie, princess marge)
Chester ( Lord Chester McFluffybutt, baby boy)
Frankie (Mr. Lemore – short for Franklemore…from Macklemore)
Valkyrie (Doblemore….again, from Macklemore)Beatrice (Bee, Bee’s Knees, Beyonce Pad Thai, Beepers, Sneezers, OBee-Wan Kenobi, Beeburger )
Friz (Fraaaaaaaaaaz, Fritz, Fitz, Frizzy, Frizzy Fraz, Chompers, Friziiiies)
Lana (Lana-bear, Bear Cub, Butt Nub)
Gambit (Bambi, Gamby Goat, Cyril/Mr. Cling)
Pam (Pam Sandwich, Spamela, Spamelot)
Rufio (The Rufisters, Roofs, Rufalicious, Rufacolypse, asshole)
Skala Luna (Lala, Princess Garbage Kitty, Cat, GODDAMMIT GET OFF THE TABLE, Fluffbutt)
Sandburg (TBD – he comes home in 1 month!!)
Aurora (rorie, little ror, the small girl!, the prettiest princess!, little lady, and occasionally, dummy)
Midnight (My fat friend, my plump pal, my big round boy, middie the kitty, weirdo)
Dave (“Daaaaaaaaaaave” imitating his incredible high pitched whining meow)
Tabitha (Tabitha, Tabby, Tabibutts, Belly belly)
Tessa (Tessa, Tess, Polar Bear, Fatty Kitty)Teakiri (Squeegy-boo)
Orion (Fatso, Mr. O)Wriothesley (Call-me, Buttface)
Cat: Nicolas (CAT, Fat-Cat, Capone, Nikoooooooooo, Chipotle)
Dog: Shiloh (Thor, Pretty Girl (in a deep, manly voice), Idiot)
Binks (Mama, mama-llama)
Fury (Furbs, Furbins, Furbeans, and most recently SweetBeans)
Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All (Stormy, Stormycat)
Max (Maxine)Winston (Puggy, Uggy)
Max (Maxi-poo)
Kensi (KITTENS – in a high-pitched voice)
River (BananaButt, Bannaners, Nanners, NannerButt, Bubba, Crackhead, Shnuffooms, Shnurglebutt)
Butters (Bubbers, Bubs, Turkey Jerky)
Ripley (Rippy, Ripper, Fluffers, Booger, Jerk-face)
Sadie (Princess Tummy, Woobie-Woo, Miss Woo)
Eames (EAAAAMMEEES, Mr. Eames)
Nick Fury (Nick, Nicholas, Buddy, Dude)
Peaches (Peachy Puppy, Little Girl, Baby, Dude)
Dude is gender neutral – Ed of Good Burger sang it, so it is written.
Pixie (Panda, Fluff Butt, Fluffernutter)
Tabitha (Tabby, Tubby, Tubs, Fuzz Bucket, Fatty McFattersons) (note: the last one is used frequently enough to be on my phone’s autocorrect)
Wrecks (Wrecksie, Wrecksie-Roo, Roober, Dumbass)
Tasha (Tash, Baby, Hey)
The Archery Range 