Today was overall a good day, but I feel like I should open up about some stuff and why I occasionally react in a way you wouldn’t normally expect, and differently on different days.

I was diagnosed with depression, general anxiety, and social anxiety a few weeks ago, and am not on medication for it (I see a therapist, not a psychiatrist, therefore am not prescribed medications).

This basically means that on a normal day (and by normal, I mean a day that has its ups and downs but is overall okay, neither bad nor good), my moods range from calm to happy to sad to angry, depending on various triggers during the course of the day. Most days I have alternate between calm and happy with some mild anger (frustration mostly) mixed in.

On bad days, there’s no calm or happy. There is just sad and angry and various levels of each. The “sad” can range from barely sad to “oh god, where are the tissues WHY ARE WE OUT OF TISSUES”, and the angry can range from “you are mildly annoying” to downright screaming rages (these rages, however, are few and far between). Mostly it’s just overwhelming frustration that leads back into the sad phase which leads into the angry phase and it’s just a vicious circle of suck.

Good days can have all emotions, but anger and sadness are fleeting and easily dealt with. If it’s a really good day, I am happy throughout, and these usually happen on days like my CBEST test date when I went exploring and felt like the world was meant for me (granted, that was a stressful morning, but was awesome after that). On regular good days, I’ll be quiet and kinda observing everything that’s going on and just be happy with what I’ve got. Those days are about 89% calm and 11% happy.

Keep in mind, both good and bad days can have other emotions mixed in, but they aren’t enough to change my overall outlook.

I also qualify emotions as “red” or “green”. Red emotions are called such because they make me feel too hot or too much like my skin doesn’t fit me. These make up the majority of my bad days. Green emotions are called such because to me, green is a color of serenity, which is how those emotions make me feel.

Like I said, today was overall a good day. So yeah, now you guys will know what I mean when I say “good day” or “bad day”.