one of the ways i know this culture has a massive issue with consent
is the sheer amount of people I’ve known that just lie & tell people they’re deathly allergic to foods they dislike
because otherwise people will hound them, mock them, coax them, harass them, try to force them to eat it, or even trick them into eating it, and they will never hear the end of it
your coworkers will bake it into a fucking pie, call it something else, and wait til your birthday, gather everyone and their first cousins to sit around in a circle waiting for you to put a forkful into your mouth and then point rhythmically at you in a chanting, glaring, sweating, unholy circle like SWISS CHARD SWISS CHARD YOU JUST ATE SWISS CHARD HA HA HA SWISS CHARD NOW YOU LIKE SWISS CHARD
Because forcing someone into a situation where they don’t feel safe declining putting something into their body they’d rather not be there is totes 100% wholesome American fun
And this is something so known that it’s infinitely easier to just lie and tell people that you’ll die if you eat that food…which actually doesn’t always stop it from happening
Throwing an addition on to this with that last sentence. It has 1000% gotten to the point that even if you do say you’re allergic to something people won’t believe you and try to get you to eat it.
I have a moderate allergy to capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers spicy, it’s a pretty unusual allergy and more often than not I get brushed off. People think I’m lying, that I just don’t like spicy food, that I like to dick the people around in kitchens (which would be really fucking weird considering I WORK IN ONE)
ANNYYYWAY, on several occasions I’ve had people tell me that something doesn’t have hot peppers in or hot sauce etc, for me to nearly collapse, choking on the food, and struggling to breathe because my throat and tongue has started to swell. I’ve hand strangers do this to me, (ex)friends, and even my own stepdad who at one point I viewed as my dad has done this to me. “To see if I really was allergic” I have no doubt in my mind that doing exactly that has actually lead to someones death.
Someone says they don’t want/cant have something YOU DON’T FUCKING GIVE IT TO THEM FULL STOP.
The amount of times people have given me meat is ridiculous. I’m not allergic and I dont pretend to be but I’ve thought about using that as an excuse. I’ve been vegetarian for 15 years and cant digest meat. I have sat at the diner table sobbing while my mom served me and my sister pork and wouldnt let us leave the table until we’d eaten it all just to see if we were serious about it.
Hell, I used to be scared of heights. People would pick me up just to hear me scream after I told them. It was made worse by rock climbing, when it was a minor thing and then my dad made me continue, had the instructor yank on the harness until I – crying – reached the top.
It’s always been a big joke among my old friends, the ones I don’t talk to anymore, to immediately do the things, from pinching to lifting, to using slurs, to just making godawful screeching sounds, as soon as I’ve said I don’t like something. I can’t say I don’t like Harry Potter or Star Wars without people trying to force me to watch it, to act like I’m blaspheming, to treat me like I am crazy for it (in truth it’s because I couldnt get away from it and I was so overexposed that I didnt like it, then being treated like that made my nonchalance turn to hate). I’ve had people trick me into showing them my license because I didn’t want to tell them my dead name and then use it constantly in public spaces.
This isnt just about food. When people tell you they don’t want to do something, regardless of what that thing is, you need to respect that. You need to treat them kindly and trust them to know themselves. If you find pleasure in the pain and humiliation in others, there is something very wrong with you.
The Archery Range 