The thing about abuse that people who haven’t been abused don’t tend to understand (and by all means, I am happy for those folks, it is wonderful that abuse has not been part of your life)–
Everything and anything can turn into your fault when you’re the target of abuse.
That’s why we flinch when someone spills something. Or someone burns their food on the stove.
That’s why we go to hide quietly in another room when someone trips or stubs their toe.
That’s why we automatically back away and put eight feet of distance between us and another person when they realize something went wrong or they get bad news.
That’s why we get anxiety attacks when someone can’t find an item they’re looking for and they begin to get frustrated.
That’s why our heart skips a beat when anyone raises their voice, even if they’re cheering for a sports team on TV.
That’s why we’re so geared to apologize for things that have nothing to do with us.
When you’ve been abused you are accustomed to being blamed for things that aren’t your fault.